To Friend or Not to Friend, That is the Question
People who say that older people, who need people, are the luckiest people in the world are right. I love doing things with people and I can do most things that younger people can do. At 70 plus a lot of months, I teach aerobics and muscle conditioning, I can bound stairs in a single leap, and I can take naps that make infants seethe with jealousy. And yes, I can even mount a dream project that I have been obsessed with for years.
Let me start at the beginning. I have been a life long devotee of Broadway musicals as a musical theatre actor, a director and an adoring audience member. Why, I can see musicals 5 or 6 times without blinking. I just love them and they have no calories. And the actors have to be triple threats. They have to sing, dance and act. Take Hugh Jackman who starred in Oklahoma, The Boy From Oz and now is going to hit the big screen in Les Miz. Amazing!
What I always knew was that this uniquely, quintessentially American art form was created mainly by the Jews. Yes, Irving Berlin, George and Ira Gershwin, Jerome Kern, and the list goes on.
As a former TV host and producer, I knew the impact of telling a story on television, so I decided that I was going to put together a film, a documentary on the Jewish legacy of the musical. I cleverly called it , Broadway Musicals: A Jewish Legacy. I immediately named myself creator and executive producer (because I was the creator and executive producer,) hired the best of the best Michael Kantor as director, producer and writer (he has shelves of Emmys many of which are for his film Broadway: The America Musical and others) and we were off and running.
Fast forward to today, three plus years later. The film is completed and being aired on PBS Tuesday January 1, 2012 at 9:30 PM in most markets. So far so good.
Here’s where my age starts playing out in an all too familiar scene. I heard that people use social media to get their message out. I wasn’t sure what social media was but I thought that it must be Facebook. However, I don’t know how to use Facebook so I hired a PhD candidate and Fulbright scholar to do it for me. I instructed her to cover my immediate universe. She did and here’s the personal letter that I wrote as the header to the press release.
Letter #1
Dear Friends,
The film that I have been working on with Michael Kantor, Al Tapper and Jan Gura for over 3 years is finally finished. I am so excited and would like to share the good news with you.
Best,
Barbara Brilliant
PBS Great Performances
Broadway Musicals: A Jewish Legacy
Narrator Joel Grey
Tuesday, January 1 at 9:30 p.m. (Check local listings)
The next morning as I was getting in the elevator in my apartment building a neighbor said, “Barbara, I was so delighted to get your invitation and do you mind if we bring our son.”
Embarrassed to say no, I said “of course. I’ll see you downstairs in the library on Tuesday. “ Knowing that my other friends in the building would be insulted not to have been invited, I dashed off an e-mail inviting people in the building to come to Dessert, Decaf and Documentary at 9 PM on Jan. 1.
Later that day, my friend Willa called me and said, Barbara, where do you have room to put all of those people? I know that you’re excited about the film but doesn’t your library hold max 50 people?”
“Yes, that’s right, “ I answered innocently.
“Well Newt (her husband) read his e-mail invitation from you today and there are over 200 people coming to your house on the first.”
I panicked. OMG, it is against fire regulations to say the least. Help! What was I to do?
Breathlessly, I called my Fulbright scholar. “ I guess that I shouldn’t have sent it out as an invitation, “ she said. “Not to worry, “ she said. She would come over gratis in the evening and would send the following note.
My husband drove me the 15 miles to pick her up, because we didn’t want her to take the subway at night.
Letter #2
The aim of this invite was to formally announced that my movie project I was working on will be aired on PBS channel on Tuesday, … I apologize for any confusion or misunderstanding if this electronic invite event let some of you to believe that there is an actual party or event at my house. However, I would really appreciate and will be very happy if my friend and family can watch my movie on PBS.
“No, no.” I said. So I rewrote the letter for her.
Letter #3
Dear Friends of Barbara Brilliant,
Since Barbara doesn’t know how to use Facebook, she hired me to tell you about her upcoming film. I mistakenly sent it out as an invitation instead of as a notice. I am so sorry for the confusion. Barbara sends her apologies as well and hopes that you enjoy the film on PBS Tuesday night at 9:30 PM.
Thank you for understanding,
S.G. for Barbara Brilliant
So far so good, however what happened next was that the people in the apartment building also got this letter and thought that they were uninvited so I had to write the following.
Letter #4
Although you may have heard about the Facebook mix up, be assured that you are invited for Dessert, Decaf and a Documentary. Come as you are, pajamas are fine.
Tuesday Jan 1, 2013
9:00 PM Film at 9:30PM
Library
Denying that my age has limitations is like saying that I can play professional baseball even though I am old, have astigmatism and am not athletic. A kid of 8 would have not made this mistake; she would not have had to hire someone to use Facebook. She would have stopped her letter writing at #1.
Anyhow on Tuesday January 1, 2013 at 9-11 PM, I might be having a small intimate gathering to view the film, or an extravaganza of people with not enough food, chairs and fire marshals breaking up the illegal gathering dressed in PJs.
I don’t blame my former Facebook friends to dump me after this debacle. Do you want to go out for dinner? I’ll need some new friends since I’m through friending.
Barbara Brilliant
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Barbara Brilliant is a television producer and host, songwriter, speaker, and AFAA fitness professional.